Fred's feud

Wow, long time no post...or exercise

2010-03-18T10:23:00.002-04:00

I'm not going to start by making excuses, I've just been lazy. I can honestly say I haven't been to the gym in I don't know how long or really thought about what I was piling on my plate. Complacency is my biggest problem.

I do however, have one excuse for not blogging....I'm taking a course this term, Advanced Writing for the Media, and it's a lot of work so when it comes right down to it: I'm just tried of writing! lol

I am happy to report though that while I have not followed any kind of diet or exercise regime I have only gained 0.5 lbs (currently 184.9lbs), now if I could only get my butt in gear I bet I could make that number smaller. Haha!

In other news, I have recently come to learn just how big of babies men really can be. When I declined to go out with a guy he de-friended me on facebook and every other means of communication and made it a point to tell me he was deleting every email, text, etc.

REALLY?? Did you have yo ask your mommy for help with all that?? Astounding!

New Year, New Revelations

2010-01-10T11:39:00.003-05:00

Ok so 2010 hasn't started exactly the way that I would have hoped. When I got back home after the holidays I got seriously sick and missed the first week of work. Ugh. I am on the mend but not yet 100% and am determined to head back to work on Monday.

And while the year hasn't started well I thought about where I was last year at this time and I'm a little better off. Last year I was packing like nuts preparing to move out of my crappy apartment and into my new home. I was a whopping 206 pounds and I was lonely.

Now, I'm settled into my house and about to celebrate the first year here. I weigh 184.4 pounds and I've got a new little dog to keep me company. While I don't feel like I have made much progress in terms of my weigh loss, I've still made progress (~22 lbs of progress).

In the last few months of 2009 I wasn't sticking to any kind of diet or exercise regime but i still got some exercise - whether I want to go or not, Tucker (the dog) needs to go out for walks lol. I also wrapped up my courses (got an A in both, thanks) and most recently one of my teachers sent me a job posting for a high-tech company she's worked with, and told me to say she's referring me.

So yeah, wow! My life isn't exactly where I thought it would be or even where I hoped it would be but things are definitely looking...promising.

Day Twenty-six

2009-10-26T12:39:00.001-04:00

October 26, 2009

Boo, weekend weight in wasn't great (189.9) but I suppose it could always have been worse, right?! I'm seriously wondering why I chose now to start this weight loos journey because I don't have any time! A good example of that is the fact that I had class all weekend. That's right I gave up my weekend for a two-day intensive course that I need to complete my program. Tonight I get a bit fo a reprieve though because tonight's class got canceled since my teacher had to fly to Russia (random, I know!).

Going back to why I started this weight loss process now I think I can chalk it all up to Christmas. Not in the terms that I want to be able to eat whatever I want over Christmas but rather more to do with all the visiting that is done over the holiday season.

Every year my family drives out to London, ON to visit with my Oma and Taha and celebrate together. Since I live about 6.5hrs away from London, this is the only time that I see them during the year. And unfortunately this is also the time when they take to making comments about my weight.

Now, they don't do it maliciously, they're only concerned about my health and well-being but that doesn't make it any easier to hear.

Last year I was doing so well that I thought "gee I bet they'll be proud of me now" but after my surgery all my hard work was out the window...what.a.pisser! I'm not sure that I will be able to make any big enough strides that I will see significant results by Christmas but I've got my fingers crossed.

Day Twenty-Two

2009-10-22T08:42:00.003-04:00

October 22, 2009

Well, this week so far I haven't been to the gym once! And to be honest I am getting really good with the excuses. This week the excuses have been:

School - Monday and Tuesday nights
Impending mid-term exams that I need to study for (but that I haven't)
Putting in overtime at work because things have just gotten out of hand
And just plain old I'm too tired.

But tired or not, overtime or not, sick or not TONIGHT I AM GOING! Why? What changed you may ask...well, I actually had a bit of an "AHA!" moment yesterday when I heard a quote that really woke me up.

That quote was "I was worthless, until I decided I to be worth more." Now, I wasn't exactly worthless but I certainly felt like it. But nothing was going to change until I decided that I was worth putting the effort in for. Doing something FOR me, for the love OF me. So with that in mind I feel re-committed to changing my life.

But...

I'm NOT doing this for my family who think I'll be happier if I lose weight.
I'm NOT doing this for the people that called me fat all my life.
I'm NOT doing this because society tells me that being skinny is the way to be.

I'm going to do this because I need to be healthier.
I'm going to do this because I want to live a long life.
I'm going to do this because I deserve this.

I'M GOING TO DO THIS FOR THE LOVE OF ME!

Day Twenty-One

2009-10-21T12:32:00.002-04:00

October 21, 2009

For whatever reason I feel like garbage today. It's like I'm sending my body through a detox and in the spirit of reciprocity it's determined to make me sick. :( I kind of just want to crawl into bed, pull the covers up over my head and come out on the second Tuesday after never.

On a better note I came across a great post on the Eating Journey about Fat Talk that I'm re-posting here because I agree that everyone should read/see this.

------------------------------------------------------------

This is my LOVE talk.

FAT TALK is an epidemic which is robbing our children, our parents, our society of confidence, positive body image, and healthy lifestyles. FAT TALK is increasing obesity, eating disorders, and an unhealthy focus on outward appearance. FAT TALK is stopping potential, growth, expansion and development of our youth.

This video made me cry….I want EVERYONE TO SEE IT!

Support FAT TALK FREE WEEK! How?

* Support Delta Delta Delta by signing this petition
* Go to Operation Beautiful–get your positive energies up and post a note
* Write a list of 10 things you love about yourself
* Counteract your friends, neighbours, family from any FAT TALK they say
* Spread this around!

It’s up to each of us to ensure that we are ending FAT TALK!

So tell me, what’s your LOVE talk?

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Love this!

mood: so-so
feeling: inspired
listening to: Default
level of commitment: 5

Day Nineteen

2009-10-19T18:47:00.003-04:00

October 19, 2009

Ok so I have no idea what is going on with my body today. I didn't sleep very well, went to bed at 11pm and woke up at 3am and that was it for sleep.

Got to work and felt worn out and not so hot. By 11:30am I was sent home because I was being sick to my stomach and was pale as a ghost. Goody. I managed to get home before I was sick again but not before I thought I was going to pass out while driving. That is not a fun feeling let me tell you.

I was in the house and up to the main floor only seconds before I found myself on the bathroom floor staring into the shiny porceline bowl of the toilet. So for wahtever reason I spent a good part of the afternoon expelling whatever was left in my system and sleeping.

And not wanting to fall behind in my class I have dragged myself to class in hopes that I will make it through without any digestive pyrotechniques.

I know probably more information that anyone would think necessary but it's my blog and I'll write whatever I want to. (Sorry...a little cranky when I'm sick.)

mood: grumpy
feeling: gross
listening to: the ventillation system in class
level of commitment: 0 (don't even want to think about diet or exercise...barf)

Day Seventeen

2009-10-17T20:51:00.003-04:00

October 17, 2009

Ugh, so weigh-in this morning and I was up 1.2 lbs. Booooo! Oh well, I'm blaming it on the horrible bloatiness that pops up every month. (^_^) ♥ lol

Anyway I spent the day doing more decorating for Halloween, since my neighbours have *finally* started decorating and I want to win something in the community contest. I honestly don'e believe that I will win first prize because there's a guy down the street who has gone all out. WAY TO DASH MY HOPES MR. NEIGHBOUR MAN!!

I've never won anything and silly me I thought that since none of my neighbours had decorated yet that I would win but it looks like they were just waiting for the weekend. :(

Since I spent most of my day doing decorating or driving around looking for stuff to decorate with I decided to go for a walk tonight around the neighbourhood (which I have never done before) and from the looks of it mine is one of maybe five houses that has actually been decorated. so maybe when it comes time for the neighbours to vote someone will vote for my house! :D

Day Sixteen

2009-10-16T20:51:00.009-04:00

October 16, 2009

So here's to the end of a short long week, and as promised here are my (yucky) before pictures. Man, my posture is terrible too, good grief!

Pudgy and lumpy at 189 lbs but hopefully i will be able to drop them and find that think girl inside that I'm usually trying to shut up with food! LOL!

This isn't quite the biggest I have ever been, at my absolute heaviest I was 206 lbs. But with Weight Watchers and my lovely gym membership I was able to get down to 186 and thankfully have only put three of those pounds back on. Go me!

Anyway this week has been a little hectic for me and I haven't quite found a good balance between work, school and getting to the gym but I have found a couple resources that help me to get in a decent work out at home.

The first is Women's Health magazine online it's got some great articles, printable workouts and videos.

The second, and definitely the best, is Goodlife Fitness at Home. Goodlife is one of the gyms here in Canada and their membership can be a little pricey but their website is entirely free to use. Again it's more videos, there's yoga, aerobics, dancing, fitness at work (stuff to do at your desk) so much more. Everyone should definitely check out this site, especially because it's free!! lol.

I've got a terrible headache so I'm going to settle in and watch ''The Good Witch's Garden'' which is coming on shortly. But I will be back tomorrow morning with the results of my weigh-in, the outcome of which should be interesting since it's THAT week (I can't wait for it to be over, talk about crampy diem!) lol I crack me up.

Ok g'night web goers.

mood: mellow
feeling: worn out
listening to: the sounds of neighbours coming and going
level of commitment: 8

Day Fifteen

2009-10-15T15:14:00.005-04:00

October 15, 2009

Ok so this week has been a little hodge podge at best but I'm getting through it. And I know that I said I would post some picture to accurately be able to track my progress but this is hard to motivate myself to do. BUT, seeing the Ex Hot Girl's before and after pictures have made me realize that it's a great way to mark how much has changed.....so I'm going to do it. Tonight even!

But it will be after a spree at Wal-mart for Halloween decorations, cutting the grass and decorating my house for a community contest. But I swear I will do it tonight, begrudgingly though.

mood: good
feeling: eager....for halloween!!
listening to: the radio
level of commitment: 7 :( [rough day]

Day Fourteen

2009-10-14T12:42:00.002-04:00

October 14, 2009

Well, so far today has been pretty interesting. I could barely drag my butt out of bed this morning because class ran late last night. I had to run around like a crazy person this morning making lunch, finding keys, taking out the garbage and scraping the FROST of the car windows!

Get to work and there's an email from a lady I know about posting on her blog...no idea what she's talking about because I didn't even know she had a blog to begin with. I scroll further into the email chain and someone else has been using my email address to post comments on people's blogs. And oddly enough this person happened across the blog of someone I know - which is a little creepy.

Anyway, I've emailed back and forth with this person and come to the conclusion they are crazy and that I have to be more careful when using the computers on campus.

So all that to say: my day hasn't exactly taken off as I would have hoped. But things are looking up, I've gotten a couple things for work cleared away and I'm heading to the gym tonight to hopefully sweat away the stresses of today.

mood: good
feeling: frazzled
listening to: Take a Picture by Filter
snacking on: a green apple...yummers!
level of commitment: 8

Days Nine to Thirteen

2009-10-13T08:14:00.002-04:00

October 13, 2009

Well I'm not going to say that I am happy to report this, because things definitely could have gone another way, but I'm still at 189.6lbs. Seeing as Thanksgiving revolves around food and family, I think I did pretty well and I didn't deprive myself of anything. I ate what I wanted whenever I was hungry because let's face it, it's not often I get to have my mum's cooking (we live four hours apart).

I think what may have helped this weekend is the water. I made sure that I was drinking a lot which might have had something to do with me not going overboard and stuffing myself stupid. Plus it's really hard to justify eating tons when you've been putting in the time at the gym.

Speaking of, my mum's trainer is pretty funny and she managed to survive us both! hahaha. She kept her focus on my mum because she's got problems with her joints but she gave me some killer exercises to try, most of which kept me on one foot with the other in the air doing curls. Who knew trying to balance was so hard hahaha!

Today is back to work. I'm tired mostly because I haven't really been sleeping but partly because I spent half the day yesterday driving.

mood: meh
feeling: tired
listening to: the rain
level of commitment: 8

Day Eight

2009-10-08T08:51:00.003-04:00

October 8, 2009

I'm feeling a lot better this morning and I'm not sure why, it's not like I've taken anything for my cold...very suspect.

Onward.

Yesterday I joined the Bloggerhood of the Traveling Not So Fat Pants which is the brain child of the Ex Hot Girl and follows somewhat on the premise of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies but in this case we'll be passing on a pair of jeans once we shrink out of them. I think this is fabulous, it turns the faceless blogsphere into a circle of real women supporting each other through the same weight loss journey.

The only downside I can see to this venture is that you need to post pictures of you in the pants when you get them and before you send them on their way. To this end I will have to come to terms with having my photo taken, ugh! Maybe I'll begin by posting a before photo (eight days in already but whatever) and post others when I hit little milestones like the first ten pounds or something.

Definitely going to think about it.

mood: happy
feeling: focused
listening to: Nirvana (radio)
level of commitment: 9

Days Five to Seven

2009-10-07T19:38:00.004-04:00

I am miserable and it's not because of a diet or exercise: I've got a cold. My head is pounding, I've got a sore throat, sneezing and my ears hurt (!?!?). Luckily it's a long weekend so I can get some rest, unluckily it's a holiday focused on food.

Not to worry, I've already made plans to hit the gym with my mum and her trainer...should be interesting to say the least. Mum and I crack jokes a lot and can be pretty sarcastic, here's hoping her trainer can survive the two of us! Hahahaha!

I'll weigh in again on Saturday and post my results but I'm not sure how accurate it will be since I will be using a different scale. But at this point a loss is a loss, so long as we're head down I'm going in the right direction.

Hope everyong has a yummy turkey day and a great long weekend!!

Day four

2009-10-04T12:23:00.003-04:00

As I sit in class (during the lunch break) all my muscles are killing me!! Dragging myself out of bed this morning was as hard as trying to teach a polar bear to cha-cha!

But that's ok it's a good kind of hurt....I suppose.

Day Three

2009-10-03T18:12:00.002-04:00

Well, it's hardly worth noting since it's only day three but as I plan to track my weight on Saturday mornings i've loss a whopping 0.2 lbs hahahaha!

Anyway, I spent today in class and didn't go to the gym. Tomorrow is much of the same because lucky me has class again but I'm taking my lunches and snacks so that I'm not tempted by the pretty glowing vending machines that are parked outside the computer lab.

Just keeping at it.

Day Two

2009-10-02T20:01:00.002-04:00

Today was definitely better.

Aside from fighting off the headache from hell midday and trying to survive the inconsiderateness and incompetence radiating from the office across the hall, I managed to stay focused.

And despite the exhaustion I was feeling I headed to the gym. So mid-workout I was wiped out and then I realized that crazy me had been going at it full throttle the way I had been when I was going 4-5 times a week! Reality check: I'm not quite back there...yet.

After an hour and a half workout, feeling good, I did my groceries and have settled in at home for a nice quiet night. Tomorrow: class 9-5.

mood: chill
feeling: energized
watching: The Skulls
level of commitment: 8

Day One

2009-10-01T18:38:00.003-04:00

Well, for the first day of my new venture I didn't really commit.

I failed to make a proper lunch the night before but still managed to grab something healthy-ish (homemade ham hock soup with crackers) but I never made it to the gym. today was one of the first really cold days of Fall and I admit I punked out. I was cold and had had a really long day at work so I just didn't go.

Weak excuse I know, but tomorrow will be different. As soon as I finish my apple and wrap up this blog I'm going to make my lunch for tomorrow so I'm not tempted to go to the café in my building for lunch.

And because I know that the gym is rarely ever busy on Friday nights the gym will definitely be a go tomorrow. It may not seem too much like it right now but I am totally committed to making this work this time. I'm tired of being a fat girl.

mood: bummed
feeling: tired
listening to: TMZ
snacking on: green apple
level of commitment: 8

A New Start & What Came Before

2009-09-30T21:07:00.004-04:00

I've started this blog just as I've started anew on my weight loss journey.

I have tried numerous diets and clearly nothing has worked for me yet. January 3, 2008 I joined Weight Watchers, a few days after I joined the gym (Goodlife) determined to stick with it. I did fairly well and stuck with the WW program until June-ish and continued with the gym about 4-5 times a week. I got to the point where if I missed a day at the gym I'd get antsy and almost crave a workout. That had to be the best I've ever been. But then my health went awry....here's how it all played out:

August 10, 2008 following my best friends wedding I found myself curled up in the fetal position on my bathroom floor for 14 hours and realized it might be time to get myself to the hospital. I'd had similar pains earlier that month while I'd been on holidays at my family's cottage but my parents convinced me it was heartburn, which I couldn't believe it was, but I just stopped telling them about it.

So back to the eve of August 10. After spending couple hours sitting in the emergency waiting area doubled over in pain and puking my guts out my only companion had to leave (she had work in the morning). Another hour or so later I got taken into an examination room, where again I waited to see a doctor. Finally after seeing the doctor they tell me I'm going to need to have surgery to remove my inflamed gallbladder...BUT I would have to wait SIX WEEKS! Fun times!

The surgeon told me that I was not to exercise until two months following the surgery because I could impede my gallbladder from "calming" and that the B.R.A.T. (Bananas Rice Applesauce & Toast) diet was to be my new best friend. He actually said "if it tastes good, don't eat it." Boooooo!

So between the no exercise, B.R.A.T. diet and the just plain overall crappy feeling I gained back everything that I had lost in the six months I'd worked so hard. Blech, if that isn't a kick in the pants.

March 2009 rolls around and I decide yep ok time to get back to it full speed. So i rejoined Goodlife (canceled my membership when I was sick) and a few weeks later I signed up for Weight Watchers again.

This time around I was hitting the gym 4-5 times a week for 2 - 2.5 hrs at a time; I'd recently moved and the nearest Goodlife was so much better than the last that I'd attended. The downside this time around was that the Weight Watchers group nearest to me wasn't as good as the one previous. The members were older, the discussions less interesting and overall not very motivating. It was almost like sitting in the principal's office for 45 mins every Saturday morning.

October 1, 2009 will officially be the first day of my new regime. I plan on taking what I have learned from all the past diets I've tried (South Beach, Weight Watchers, Fat Smash Diet, etc) and combine them in a manner that works for me. There were bits from all of these diets/plans that worked for me so if I put them all together I think I'll do OK.

I'm also going to get back to the gym more regularly. Because I work full time and taking classes in the evenings (and some weekends) going to the gym hasn't worked in as a steady schedule, I only get there maybe twice a week. But I've decided I will got at least three times a week until school is over and go from there.

The purpose of this blog is for me to be able to track my progresses, my trials, my goals, my everyday on this journey. I've decided that the ME in my life is what's important right now. I have to learn to focus on me and what's going to make me happy and what I can do to make it all happen.

So here I go, jumping into the pool fully dressed, head first with fingers crossed. Wish me luck!