Fred's feud

I'm not going to start by making excuses, I've just been lazy. I can honestly say I haven't been to the gym in I don't know how long or really thought about what I was piling on my plate. Complacency is my biggest problem.

I do however, have one excuse for not blogging....I'm taking a course this term, Advanced Writing for the Media, and it's a lot of work so when it comes right down to it: I'm just tried of writing! lol

I am happy to report though that while I have not followed any kind of diet or exercise regime I have only gained 0.5 lbs (currently 184.9lbs), now if I could only get my butt in gear I bet I could make that number smaller. Haha!

In other news, I have recently come to learn just how big of babies men really can be. When I declined to go out with a guy he de-friended me on facebook and every other means of communication and made it a point to tell me he was deleting every email, text, etc.

REALLY?? Did you have yo ask your mommy for help with all that?? Astounding!

Ok so 2010 hasn't started exactly the way that I would have hoped. When I got back home after the holidays I got seriously sick and missed the first week of work. Ugh. I am on the mend but not yet 100% and am determined to head back to work on Monday.

And while the year hasn't started well I thought about where I was last year at this time and I'm a little better off. Last year I was packing like nuts preparing to move out of my crappy apartment and into my new home. I was a whopping 206 pounds and I was lonely.

Now, I'm settled into my house and about to celebrate the first year here. I weigh 184.4 pounds and I've got a new little dog to keep me company. While I don't feel like I have made much progress in terms of my weigh loss, I've still made progress (~22 lbs of progress).

In the last few months of 2009 I wasn't sticking to any kind of diet or exercise regime but i still got some exercise - whether I want to go or not, Tucker (the dog) needs to go out for walks lol. I also wrapped up my courses (got an A in both, thanks) and most recently one of my teachers sent me a job posting for a high-tech company she's worked with, and told me to say she's referring me.

So yeah, wow! My life isn't exactly where I thought it would be or even where I hoped it would be but things are definitely looking...promising.

October 26, 2009

Boo, weekend weight in wasn't great (189.9) but I suppose it could always have been worse, right?! I'm seriously wondering why I chose now to start this weight loos journey because I don't have any time! A good example of that is the fact that I had class all weekend. That's right I gave up my weekend for a two-day intensive course that I need to complete my program. Tonight I get a bit fo a reprieve though because tonight's class got canceled since my teacher had to fly to Russia (random, I know!).

Going back to why I started this weight loss process now I think I can chalk it all up to Christmas. Not in the terms that I want to be able to eat whatever I want over Christmas but rather more to do with all the visiting that is done over the holiday season.

Every year my family drives out to London, ON to visit with my Oma and Taha and celebrate together. Since I live about 6.5hrs away from London, this is the only time that I see them during the year. And unfortunately this is also the time when they take to making comments about my weight.

Now, they don't do it maliciously, they're only concerned about my health and well-being but that doesn't make it any easier to hear.

Last year I was doing so well that I thought "gee I bet they'll be proud of me now" but after my surgery all my hard work was out the window...what.a.pisser! I'm not sure that I will be able to make any big enough strides that I will see significant results by Christmas but I've got my fingers crossed.

October 22, 2009

Well, this week so far I haven't been to the gym once! And to be honest I am getting really good with the excuses. This week the excuses have been:

• School - Monday and Tuesday nights
• Impending mid-term exams that I need to study for (but that I haven't)
• Putting in overtime at work because things have just gotten out of hand
• And just plain old I'm too tired.

But tired or not, overtime or not, sick or not TONIGHT I AM GOING! Why? What changed you may ask...well, I actually had a bit of an "AHA!" moment yesterday when I heard a quote that really woke me up.

That quote was "I was worthless, until I decided I to be worth more." Now, I wasn't exactly worthless but I certainly felt like it. But nothing was going to change until I decided that I was worth putting the effort in for. Doing something FOR me, for the love OF me. So with that in mind I feel re-committed to changing my life.

But...

I'm NOT doing this for my family who think I'll be happier if I lose weight.
I'm NOT doing this for the people that called me fat all my life.
I'm NOT doing this because society tells me that being skinny is the way to be.

I'm going to do this because I need to be healthier.
I'm going to do this because I want to live a long life.
I'm going to do this because I deserve this.

I'M GOING TO DO THIS FOR THE LOVE OF ME!

October 21, 2009

For whatever reason I feel like garbage today. It's like I'm sending my body through a detox and in the spirit of reciprocity it's determined to make me sick. :( I kind of just want to crawl into bed, pull the covers up over my head and come out on the second Tuesday after never.

On a better note I came across a great post on the Eating Journey about Fat Talk that I'm re-posting here because I agree that everyone should read/see this.

Support FAT TALK FREE WEEK! How?

* Support Delta Delta Delta by signing this petition
* Go to Operation Beautiful–get your positive energies up and post a note
* Write a list of 10 things you love about yourself
* Counteract your friends, neighbours, family from any FAT TALK they say
* Spread this around!

It’s up to each of us to ensure that we are ending FAT TALK!

So tell me, what’s your LOVE talk?

October 19, 2009

Ok so I have no idea what is going on with my body today. I didn't sleep very well, went to bed at 11pm and woke up at 3am and that was it for sleep.

Got to work and felt worn out and not so hot. By 11:30am I was sent home because I was being sick to my stomach and was pale as a ghost. Goody. I managed to get home before I was sick again but not before I thought I was going to pass out while driving. That is not a fun feeling let me tell you.

I was in the house and up to the main floor only seconds before I found myself on the bathroom floor staring into the shiny porceline bowl of the toilet. So for wahtever reason I spent a good part of the afternoon expelling whatever was left in my system and sleeping.

And not wanting to fall behind in my class I have dragged myself to class in hopes that I will make it through without any digestive pyrotechniques.

I know probably more information that anyone would think necessary but it's my blog and I'll write whatever I want to. (Sorry...a little cranky when I'm sick.)


mood: grumpy
feeling: gross
listening to: the ventillation system in class
level of commitment: 0 (don't even want to think about diet or exercise...barf)

October 17, 2009

Ugh, so weigh-in this morning and I was up 1.2 lbs. Booooo! Oh well, I'm blaming it on the horrible bloatiness that pops up every month. (^_^) ♥ lol

Anyway I spent the day doing more decorating for Halloween, since my neighbours have *finally* started decorating and I want to win something in the community contest. I honestly don'e believe that I will win first prize because there's a guy down the street who has gone all out. WAY TO DASH MY HOPES MR. NEIGHBOUR MAN!!

I've never won anything and silly me I thought that since none of my neighbours had decorated yet that I would win but it looks like they were just waiting for the weekend. :(

Since I spent most of my day doing decorating or driving around looking for stuff to decorate with I decided to go for a walk tonight around the neighbourhood (which I have never done before) and from the looks of it mine is one of maybe five houses that has actually been decorated. so maybe when it comes time for the neighbours to vote someone will vote for my house! :D